Just put me in . ADAM: Barbara! I cant see! And they have scorpions for teeth! Jesus Christ, why do you gotta be so sexy? Whats a matter Chuck? JUNO: Report to processing! The fact is, shes been having a hard time since LYDIA: Oh father! Here goes nothing. JUNO: You are the embarrassment. But first, I think it would be so wonderful if our newest family member would make a toast! I wish I was dead! IM ALIVE! What if Lydia walks in? Whatd you do!? (a beat or two.) But she was talking about us. BEETLEJUICE: DON'T YOU WANNA SEE DAD SUFFER? But I swear to you, we will. BEETLEJUICE: (snaps fingers and the Sandworm attacks) Thats why not! BEETLEJUICE: That is a sandworm. Hey guys? I'm sure Dad will ruin it. I, myself, am strange and unusual." -Lydia Deetz. We can't start a family in a house with creaky floorboards! I don't know what just happened. Lydia: i can't change anything. LYDIA: Yeah, you said Stop acting so weird, I need this job., DELIA: No! LYDIA: Classic Bait and Switch, Oldest trick in the book! FROM TETRALOGY OF FALLOT IN MY PULMONARY ARTERY! DELIA: I dont understand! So, goodbye. See you in hell, AGH, Im gone Im gonna use the door. We do not have time to make screaming, passionate, love right now. DELIA: Lydia, we talked about this sad, saddy, sadness stuff, yeah? (BEETLEJUICE bursts in on the Sandworm.). But when he turns it on, what if your mom shows up instead? Every success begins with sucks and ends with yes. ADAM: And your dad has made some big mistakes with the interior design! LYDIA: You wouldnt listen dad. CHARLES: Delia, there is nothing in your head. Its the last day of their entire lives and this is what theyre talking about! The late '80s cartoon of the same name makes Beetlejuice and Lydia best friends, not maybe-lovers, and the Broadway musical made a big effort to modernize the story: It does keep the "I'm . Rule number 1: Dont leave the house. Yup, thats the one. Why dont you and I clear out all that old junk in the attic, and build you a dark room! Were going to play a little game! What if shes possessed? Based on the 1988 film starring Michael Keaton, the musical tells the story of Lydia Deetz, an offbeat teenager whose life changes when her family moves into a home inhabited by a recently . BARBARA: There are two kinds of people in this world. Call 9-1-1! (closes door.) She was my whole world. Basically it follows the plot of Beetlejuice the Musical, but Lydia's twin friends, Lily and David come to try and help their friend through this trying time. LYDIA: I can't keep living like this! "Beetlejuice" runs through . Also, no liquids! BEETLEJUICE: Thats it! EVEN IF YOU'RE BORN WITH CONGENITAL HEART DISEASE, AND YOU COULD BE KILLED BY A RANDOM SNEEZE, JUST GONNA RING THE BELL OF THIS CREEPY LOOKING HOUSE, AND I'M HERE TODAY TO SUPPORT THE GIRL SCOUTS BY SELLING COOKIES, GIRL SCOUT: WELL, I'VE GOT CHOCOLATE, BANANA AND OAT BRAN, PECAN, GIRL SCOUT: BUT, WE'RE REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO, GIRL SCOUT: Dont worry! A fall from that height? JUNO: STOP! Every bit of it. Its like against the law at my house. its just like Wah, Wah, Wah Wah Wah Wah. All these feelings. Beetlejuice tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager obsessed with the whole "being dead thing." Lucky for Lydia, her new house is haunted by a recently deceased couple and Beetlejuice, a delightful demon with a real zest for life. It's like my dad's Ophelia. Uh, hey! Thank you for being here. People dont read. LYDIA: Hey Delia! But you wanted your mommy. THE THREE OF US ALONE CAN WRECK DAD'S EVENING, YEAH, I GOT GAME! Im so scared Im going to forget her. ADAM: Hang on. Of course I might have to get a little mean. Which does not come easy. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, I don't live here, I'm dead! BARBARA: We are! I love it! I am utterly alone." -Lydia Deetz. It was all rundown and we didnt know if we were going to get through it. Lets draw the door. CHARLES: No, shes still too fragile. The Preacher, Beetlejuice, and Lydia. That means its working! OTHO: So glad that you asked. Why would anyone wanna spend more time with their mother? Take a look at our library of free monologues . Drink it, or throw it out! I have a chance to see her again, please! Antics ensue. AcCENT upon the Wrong SylLABle: When Adam finds the advert for Betelgeuse, he actually says the name three times, but because he pronounces it "Bay-til Guy-ce", the incantation doesn't work. Dad, please. Oh, Adam, were just getting started! Ooohh? BEETLEJUICE: And I know that now. You see, the living ignore the dead. About Lydia. Powerless. Where are you? All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. No. Maxie Dean loves shrimp! BEETLEJUICE: I'm sorry, you're giving me advice? LYDIA: Dad, how long do we have to stay here? I dont know what kind of game youre playing right now, but-. Some of the changes in the musical also seem to be influenced by Beetlejuice, the animated series. Well actually it was just this really hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the outside. This was an excuse to make the boys interact and realize they all are wife simps. But hes my monster. Oh god, Im so worried now. We will just have to do this without her. Lydia, you are so weird. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." AGHHHHHH! BEETLEJUICE: Looks like we're not invisible anymore! BEETLEJUICE: Whaaaat? CHARLES: No, we have to stop. Its time for Americas favorite game show! Use their user talk pages. to read our character analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing theatre resources! . BARBARA: And Lydia, she cant live like this! BEING YOUNG AND FEMALE DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M AN EASY MARK, BEETLEJUICE: I'M OFFERING YOU A FULL-TIME SPECTER. ADAM: Again, we do not want to kill anyone! Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. Source: www.enca.com. Pigs cant climb! With an irreverent book, an astonishing set, and a score that . BEETLEJUICE: DID I SAY NETHERWORLD? Say Chuck, didnt you used to have a daughter? ADAM: Hes going to kill someone! You died together. The whole "being dead" thing has never been so frightfully fun as in Beetlejuice, the Broadway musical based on the 1988 Tim Burton cult classic movie. Fine, you wanna be together? And Lydia, I think Ill miss you most of all. Leave this house! (a beat.) She needs somebody to help her get past all this. Could I bring her back here? OTHO: Delia? . YAAAH. New productions headed our way include "Six," the musical that turns the six wives of Henry VIII into pop icons; "Beetlejuice," the musical spin on Tim Burton's 1988 film starring . ADAM: Well this just says Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Are you all right? You are tougher than you look. Thats why youre stuck in the attic! BEETLEJUICE: And now for the moment youve all been waiting for! I am angry! This is gonna be great. Youll have to open the door to find out. BEETLEJUICE: Okay! New York, NY, Linda Ray Its gonna be so good for all of us. ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY-O! BEETLEJUICE: Well make it snappy, I WANT CAKE! Now, we have two days to transform this old house into the flagship model home of my new gated community. Careful Charles! what Im trying to say is; I hired you to help my daughter, but you have ended up helping me. (to audience.) After more than 30 years, Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder could potentially reprise their roles as Beetlejuice and Lydia Deetz in the upcoming film Beetlejuice 2.. Keaton and Ryder originally played the iconic characters in Tim Burton's 1998 cult classic Beetlejuice.. As reported by ScreenRant, Brad Pitt's production company Plan B Entertainment has signed on to produce Beetlejuice 2. LYDIA: Im not going back! LYDIA: Hey dad? L: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. In Conclusion: Beetlejuice the Musical Is Fantastic. Your dad cant see us. COMPANY: GOD, I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A SHOW ABOUT DEATH! "Beetlejuice" is closing on Broadway in January, ending its unconventional, fan-fueled run on the Great White Way. I orbit. We mostly just watched and drank wine. MAXINE: OH STOP! Can everybody see me? We do not want to kill people! BARBARA: Ill make a (a beat.) This is all very believable. Its either me or the booze. And shed be like Well, then I choosethe booze. The point is, we just got rid of your dad, and we were having SO much fun together! I mean you saw these schmucks up here. ), THEY'LL NEVER GET THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES. In her eyes, her ability to "gut" the house is connected to her ability to express, from which Charles is blocking her. Delilah BEETLEJUICE: We didnt hang out much, Charles! ADAM: I know, I know, me too. DELIA: Oh! Can you believe people actually lived here? Yeah. And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff. Oh, my God! LYDIA: Yeah, me too. LYDIA: Yeah. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, Babs, I would LOVE that. However, we have dozens of other monologues that you can read. LYDIA: Perhaps thats because I myself, am strange and unusual. I am a very sexual being, and I do love me an orgy, but I say this with love, but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. Research Playwrights, Librettists, Composers and Lyricists, See more characters from Theyre in the room with us. 5. ADAM: Oh, dont worry, Im gonna have this crib ready before that baby gets here! CHARLES: No, you have failed. I need a wife. Live a life of love! So mean. Youre under so much stress, you must relax! It is based on Tim Burton's 1988 film of the same name. BEETLEJUICE: NO! DELIA: I dont think thats how knock knock jokes work. Theyre chasing me! OH! Im on your side, and I always will be. . April 25, 2019. BEETLEJUICE: Whered I lose you? Ready, Set, Not Yet - Adam . A few nights before she- before the end, Emily took my hand and said, I know you wanna fix it. You know? If I get Maxie Dean in my corner, the investments will pour in. CHARLES: Lydia! Im sorry everybody. Everyone here would go back if they could! BEETLEJUICE: ZWEEBY, BEEBY, BOO-BAH-BAH-DEE! BARBARA: I think so! BARBARA: You cant make every wall an accent wall! (DELIA and CHARLES make out on the table.). Afraid Id marry her? I have been waiting for so long for you people to die, and now youre here and I just think were going to make such a great team, dont you? DELIA: Charles, that was the most spiritually nourishing rogering you have ever given me. CHARLES: Do you hear that, Delia? IS MORE THAN JUST SPACE WITH NO END LA-LA-LA-LA-LA! Animals and Pets Anime Art Cars and Motor Vehicles Crafts and DIY Culture, Race, and Ethnicity Ethics and Philosophy Fashion Food and Drink History Hobbies Law Learning and Education Military Movies Music Place Podcasts and Streamers Politics Programming Reading, Writing, and Literature Religion and Spirituality Science Tabletop Games . But, if youre going to live like a ghost, you have to follow the rules. Dead Mom loved our house. ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! We have two days to make this a model home. And there is a way. Chuck, I never leave home without them (he and MAXINE erupt into laughter.) ANY GHOST CAN DO THAT IN LESS THAN ONE LESSON. This is what you get! JUNO: Anyone whose ever died is in there. Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wildest ghost this side of the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. We invisibles have to stick together! I love old books. Both movie and musical have the same bones, yet there are many differences that change everything from minor details to major motivations. LYDIA: Excuse me, are you ghosts? ALL (excluding LYDIA): DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN' GO HOME, CHARLES: COME MISTER TALLY MAN, TALLY ME BANANA, MAXIE DEAN: Come mister tally man, tally me banana. BEETLEJUICE: Exorcism. Grab what you can and- (pulls blanket and reveals DELIA.) I wanna go home. Let's haunt this bitch! Delia! Ah! Enjoy live events at insider prices. Happiness! DELIA: Doubt. See that tiny little house up there? Like these weirdos. Demon's Dance. Also, one of your wine glasses is poison! Unless I am paid upfront in cash, and learned that the hard way. The script was . Strangers. ADAM: So, Lydia since you can see us, let me get right to the point. OKAY? Were still together. TELL MY STORYY! (a beat.) I don't even like pottery! LYDIA: What? Theyre chasing me! YES I DO! DELIA: (Ringing Triangle.) No! OTHO: Delia! One big dark room. People! Lydia: No! But youre sexy. I can no longer stand to be used like a puppet between two deceitful worlds. Stripey Ghost Man? Just put me in the game. He is so mean to me! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wild "ghost with the most" from the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. We will. DELIA: Well, Im so happy for all of you. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, not so fast Mr. Soulbox. If you're a fan of Beetlejuice the Musical on Broadway, then you probably know Elizabeth Teeter. And he's to blame. New York, NY, Accessibility Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent 2020. Ongoing. JUNO: My name is Juno! BEETLEJUICE: PRETTY MUCH, ANY GHOST'LL DO, SURE. Once Im dead, my dad will be sorry! So. ADAM Hey old girl! That was an old Scandinavian folk song. I'LL MAKE THE BEST OF BEING FLESH AND BONE, BEETLEJUICE: Thats right! WE'RE MORE THAN DETRITUS WE'RE FINALLY ALIVE! And he gave me this. For we do not walk alone." LYDIA: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE SAD CLOCKS . Do you mind if we all share this house! PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. ILL NEVER COME THIS WAY AGAIN! Ive got a way to make everyone see me. Oh my god! Leave this house! Then you will know that I am no longer . And then mom said, Lets clean up. And she made us sing that song she always loved. And you won't believe how far I'll go. THE MAITLANDS: (ghostly.) Trust me, its going to get weird, but itll work. ADAM: Barbara, run! Sucks-Yes! But, its true, I was kicked in the head by a dressage horse. CENSUS AGENT: Hello, I'm with the U.S. Census Bureau, got time for a few, OH MY GOD! BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: THE SOUND OF HEART EXPLODING INSIDE A CHEST, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: AIN'T IT THE SWEETEST NOISE IN TOWN, THAT BEAUTIFUL SOUND. And life! This is the first nice moment Ive had since I got here. Mr. Juice, I respect your resistance and your Moxy. LYDIA: No, it was adorable. BEETLEJUICE: Why do you gotta be so hard on me, Mom? It is based on the 1988 film of the same name, directed by Tim Burton with story by Michael McDowell and Larry Wilson, about a deceased couple who try to haunt the new inhabitants of their former home and call help from a devious bio-exorcist ghost named Betelgeuse (pronounced . You are like ice! INT. ADAM: Im confused, you can see us without the sheets. ADAM: Well, why do we have to make them say it? Cmon. ADAM: What is that? BEETLEJUICE: So. BEETLEJUICE: Well, it doesnt matter if you say it Adam, THEY HAVE TO BE ALIVE! CHARLES: Hey! Lydia, right now you are redirecting anger and deflecting pain and other terms I learned in my training. OTHO: Yes, (imitating DELIA) Woah! AND Im from New Jersey! All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. (laughs) Hell do it. We did kill someone though. The dead lead lives of noisy desperation in "Beetlejuice," the absolutely exhausting new musical that opened on Thursday at the Winter Garden Theater. Mmmmmm, yes! Hope I didnt scare you (screams) ARITHMIA 1234. So, take a breath, metaphorically, and just remember. Step right up and lets play a game that I like to call RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!. Is this it? All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Girl, just say it three times in a row. The Maitlands and Beetlejuice, Lydia thinks, can bring her to the netherworld to see her mother once more. As your guru Otho always said, this is taking too long! (MOVERS move in furniture.) Shes impossible. Dad, theres ghosts here. But first, I gotta toss the rule book. What does that mean? Scripture tells us, "Sorrow not. AHAHAHAHA SHUT UP! Except, this one year we tried to do a classic horror theme. *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. this hilarious musical tells the story of lydia deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing . BUT NOTHING'S A CHORE WHEN YOU'RE RESTORING, APART FROM FRUSTRATION, PAIN, AND FINANCIAL DRAIN. After Adam and Barbara realized that Lydia wasn't like the rest of her family, they didn't want Betelgeuse to scare her anymore. LYDIA: Then Ill find a way to do it myself. IM TIRED OF TRYIN TO IRON OUT MY CREASES, HE WANTS ME TO SMILE AND CLAP LIKE A PERFORMING SEAL, YOU WONT BELIEVE THE MESS THAT WEVE BECOME, ARE YOU RECEIVING? Im Barbara, this is Adam. MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! Its not a real marriage. CHARLES: You think this is what I want? I havent always been such a good mother. Everything was the way it used to be. LYDIA: Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with. (LYDIA stabs him.) LYDIA: I have a mother! I'm totally enchanted. CHARLES: You made it big. Here you got a solid plan B option. I know that my name's on the marquee, but youre going to have to watch a new show. And they eat ghosts. CHARLES: Lydia, in twenty-four hours, Maxie Dean will be here to have dinner with our family. Dad theres ghosts! LYDIA YOU GIVE ME THAT! LYDIA: Recently Deceased. Not answering! SCIENCE MAKES NO SENSE WHO NEEDS EVIDENCE? And now, finally theyre about to die! BEETLEJUICE: Its a figure of speech Adam, okay? LYDIA: What? Id like to meet my fianc, Delia. God, you know, your mother knew this was going to happen. BARBARA: You seem like a normal girl to me. CHARLES: Maxie! With a lovely family inside. LYDIA: A SOUND THAT MEANS NO MORE CONDESCENDING ADULTS HANGING AROUND, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: EACH WAIL AND EACH MOAN. 2019 Broadway Beetlejuice the Musical Songs with Lyrics. BEETLEJUICE: I wanted to help you guys, its literally all I wanted, but the two of you are helpless. LYDIA: The ghosts! So if you wanna save Barbara, then I need you to marry me! You are the sun. ADAM: Well, hey I do not see any cops around here! So, Im selling our house. BEETLEJUICE: Hi there, ahahaha! I was in a sweat lodge. The Whole 'Being Dead' Thing - Betelgeuse and Ensemble 3. 3."My whole life is a dark room. . A ballad already? Fuck Brigadoon. ADAM: Oh yeah? But, its worth it. I call it The Soulbox. BEETLEJUICE: Get in there Babs! We cant hide this anymore. Shade Maternal, Fate Infernal. Im bringing my mom back! Lydia is injured at work but the Ghost with the Most decides it's his job to take care of her which starts to bring Adam and Charles around on the terribly suited relationship. 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